Unless you don’t watch TV, or listen to the radio, or hang around teenage girls, you’ve probably heard of Glee. Glee is a TV show (no duh) that revolves around the lives of McKinley High’s Glee Club. A Glee Club is like a show choir, for those of you who don’t know.

It’s not on air at the moment, but the second half of season one should be on TV in about April. It’s on channel ten, for those of you who live in Australia. America is Fox, and I don’t care about anywhere else.

So, we start off with the school’s Spanish teacher, William Schuster (played by Matthew Morrison), deciding to restart the dead Glee Club with the name “New Directions”. He puts up the sign up sheet and immediately the incessantly annoying diva Rachel Berry (played by the insanely talented Lea Michele) puts down her name. Then the other members sign up (it was ages since I saw the episode), and Mr Schuster does something he’s not proud of to get Finn Hudson (played by Cory Monteith), the captain of the football team, to join the club.

And overly clichéd drama ensues. But, the writers know this. They made it overly clichéd on purpose. And that’s what makes it great. It’s like a parody, but it’s not, and it’s wonderful. And it has fantastic music. It’s like a musical, but they sing songs that everyone knows, and they don’t spontaneously burst into song (well, they do sometimes). They sing because it’s what they do in the club, and they’re practising or performing.

It’s an awesome show; I’d suggest that you all watch it. However, it has a few continuity issues and stuff gets brought up and never mentioned again. I think the writers just make stuff up as they go along. But the kickass music makes up for it, as does Kurt. So watch it.

-Keishi

PS: Like my new banner?

It’s good. It means people are reading this thing.

…Or maybe that’s not good thing, but whatever. It’s getting read, and that’s what matters! Or something.

Or one person read it 29 times.

Whatever.

-Keishi

Shoujo

Shoujo is a genre I don’t read much of, for various reasons, but here’s my opinion.

Best

Kare Kano by Masami Tsuda.

Kare Kano (full title: Kareshi Kanojo no Jijo or His and Her Circumstances) is a slice of life shoujo manga by Masami Tsuda which follows the life of high school student Yukino Miyazawa, who, on the outside, seems like the perfect girl: she’s pretty, smart, athletic and popular. However, that is all just a facade, as the real Yukino is actually completely egotistical and only acts ‘perfect’ to get attention and praise.

However, her place as the most popular student is soon threatened by Soichiro Arima, who is the only person outside her family to realise her image is all a facade. Being a shoujo manga, romance ensues.

The story is very good, and the characters are explored and deepened and over all, it’s fun to read, as long as you don’t mind dark and edgy backstories. It’s a shoujo manga, after all.

Worst

Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya.

Fruits Basket was the first shoujo manga I read, so it has a place in my heart, but it really gets on my nerves. A lot.

Basically, high school student Tohru Honda is living in a tent in a forest because she’s an orphan and her grandpa’s house is being renovated and she doesn’t want to burden her friends, even though they’d be perfectly happy to have her stay with them. So, as she’s walking to school one day, she stumbles upon the house of Yuki Sohma, who just happens to be the most popular boy in school. He even has his own fanclub, who aren’t too happy to see her walking to school with him.

Then, Yuki and his perverted cousin Shigure stumble upon her tent and insist she stays with them. Then their cousin Kyo decides to drop by (literally) and hilarity and coloured magical explosions ensue.

My main problem with this manga is that Tohru is a horrible, horrible Mary Sue. EVERYONE LIKES HER. Even the people who don’t like her like her. And, in everyone’s eyes, she can do no wrong. Except for her own, but you only find that out at the end of the manga and, to me, that felt like a last ditch effort to make her more human.

Also, the art evolves from the beginning to the end and it looks weird. Takaya should’ve stuck with the same style all the way through.

However, it’s a cute, humourous series that gets darker and edgier towards the end and I wouldn’t rule it out. It just bugs me, is all.

Please not that I don’t read much Shoujo. This is what I have to work with.

Shounen

This is also a genre I don’t read much of. But here we go.

Best

Fullmetal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa.

It has the added bonus of being philosophical and it makes you think.

In an attempt to bring their mother back from the dead, Alphonse Elric loses his body and his older brother, Edward, loses his leg. To seal his brother’s soul in a suit of armour, Ed sacrifices his arm (or is it the other way around? I forget). So then Ed gets hired as a state alchemist at the age of twelve (I think), and then goes on a quest with his brother in tow to find the philosopher’s stone to get Al’s body back. Dark stuff and explosions and blood and alchemy ensue.

It has action, it has interesting and deep characters, and it has a protagonist with a berserk button. What more do you want?

Worst

Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto.

Before you flame me, hear me out. Naruto was the first anime (aside from Pokemon) that I watched, so, again, it has a special place in my heart. But, my beef with it is that it’s gone on for too long and main characters won’t die. I’m looking at you, Sasuke.

So, twelve-year-old trainee ninja Uzumaki Naruto is hated by everyone in his village (except for his teacher, Iruka,) because he has a nine-tailed demon fox sealed inside him, and he lives by himself for some reason. But then he graduated ninja school and joins a ninja team with the psychotic, intelligent, stuck up, fail ninja Haruno Sakura and the irritatingly angsty Uchiha Sasuke. This team is led by their fashionable late perv of a teacher, Hatake Kakashi. Fighting, ramen and hilarity ensues.

I hate this series because Sasuke should be dead. He should’ve died when he got hacked to pieces by Haku. He should’ve died when he got put in a box. He should’ve died when his brother went nuts and killed everyone (okay, that’s not entirely correct, but whatever). He should’ve died when he fought Naruto. The Akatsuki should’ve killed him. This stupid bugger should be dead. And he should’ve tried to reach out the people, dammit. Sasuke is the entire reason I hate this series. Ugh.

Please not that I don’t read much Shounen. This is what I have to work with.

Shounen Ai or Boys’ Love

This is a genre I will admit to reading. Because I can.

Best

Loveless by Kouga Yun.

Loveless is a manga where shounen ai actually isn’t the main theme, which is why I love it so much. It focuses on the nature of human relationships, perceptions of reality and how we shape that reality and psychology in general. It steps reeeeally close to shotacon, but does so tastefully. So, no, you will not be reaching for the brain bleach.

Okay, to sum up the mindscrew of a plot, twleve-year-old Aoyagi Ritsuka is all emo (this may turn you off it, among other things) due to the recent murder of his older brother Seimei, his amnesia and his mother’s abuse. And he has to start a new school, which is never fun. After his classmate Hawatari Yuiko manages to press his berserk button and runs off, he’s stopped by twenty-year-old Agatsuma Soubi, who claims to be a friend of Seimei, at which point Ritsuka instantly trusts him and runs off the take photos (which Ritsuka does because he’s terrified of forgetting people).

Soubi then freaks out Ritsuka by kissing him and proceeding to fight two kids using words (no, seriously). And the series continues like that, but with lots of plot build up and more characters are darker and edgierness. Oh, and virgins have cat ears and a tail. It’s a weird series, but it’s fantastic.

The art is amazing, the story is so complex that trying to explain it leaves the explainer confused and the themes are so deep that they’d make an English teacher squeal with delight. Read it. You will not regret it, even if you get a little creeped out, it’s okay. You’re supposed to feel that way.

Worst

Anything where the plot goes out the window and all the characters do is have sex, or sex is the plot. You’re wasting your time. Read something decent.

Shoujo Ai or Girls’ Love

Boys love but with girls. I also read it.

Best

Girl Friends by Morinaga Milk (or Miruku)

One day, happy-go-lucky Akiko “Akko” Oohashi decides to randomly befriend the shy, quiet Mariko “Mari” Kumakura. Mari comes out of her shell, gets a hair cut, nice clothes and, most importantly, a new group of friends. It’s like a shoujo manga but with fanservice.

But wait! Mari slowly finds herself falling in love with her best friend, and Akko doesn’t realise it, and Mari is freaked out by it. Gayngst and awkwardness ensue, along with copious amounts of Will They Or Won’t Day. This will probably irritate male (and female) readers who just want to see some action and make everyone who’s been in the same situation grimace. That’s what makes it so good.

Good characterisation, funny characters and schoolgirls. Why not?

Worst

Strawberry Panic! Written by Sakurako Kimino, illustrated by Takumi Namuchi.

I hate this series because a) it’s set in a Catholic school, b) everyone’s a lesbian. I go to an all girls’ school. Sorry, boys, but most of us are straight.

The plot… transfer student Aoi Nagisa gets lost on her first day at St. Miator Girls’ Academy, where she runs into her beautiful upperclassman, Hanazono Shizuma. Romance ensues.

The manga isn’t nearly as bad as the anime, and it’s based off the light novels. But, God, there are so many things wrong with it.

Adventure

Falls under Shounen, kinda, but yeah. I don’t have a worst, I just want to write a review on one =D

Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle by CLAMP.

To save the life of Princess Sakura, Syaoran is sent to the Dimension Witch, Yuuko, to ask for help in recovering Sakura’s memories that went flying off to a bunch of other dimensions. Joining on their quest is the cheery mage Fai (or Fay or Fye) D. Fluorite (or Flowright) and the grumpy ninja, Kurogane. Fai wants to get as far away from his world as possible, and Kurogane wants to get back to his. So Yuuko sends them all off together, along with a white puff ball called Mokona, and hilarity ensues until the wonderfully screwed up plot twist where everything gets darker, edgier and angstier.

It’s basically a multi-dimensional crossover fic with CLAMP’s own characters recycled. A lot. Once you get to the plot twist, I’d suggest keeping notes just so you know what the fridge is going on. But it’s very good, so I’d suggest reading it.

–

And, at 1652 words, I think that is all I shall do for now. I may have a part two if I haven’t invoked a flame war. Until later!

-Keishi

PS: Please tell me if you see any typos. This is four pages long. All I’m doing is a spell check. Yes, I’m lazy.

Now, let’s all just ignore the fact that the moment you say, “I’m learning Japanese,” the entire internet swarms on you and starts chanting “Weeeeeaboooo. Weeeeeabooooo,” until you run away crying because any attempt at defending yourself/finding a sane person fails. So. Let’s begin.

–

As most people know, Japanese writing in weird. It’s all swirly and some of it is boxy and some of it is Chinese. Yeah. There’s three freaking different scripts to learn. Hiragana (the curvy ones), katakana (the boxy ones) and kanji (the Chinese ones). Once you memorise all the hiragana, you have to memorise all the katakana. Then you have to attempt to remember at least some the thousands upon thousands of kanji characters, not to mention all the different ways of saying the same bloody characters there are. It’s kinda like English, but we spell them differently (y’know, their, they’re, there…)

It doesn’t help that a lot of kana is very similar. め (me) and ぬ (nu) are really freaking similar and I keep mixing them up. き (ki) and さ (sa) are hard to write. At least, for me. But my handwriting sucks. And then, remembering the freaking ten ten and whatever the two lines are called… ‘h’ sounds use the lines to turn into ‘b’ sounds (‘ha’ turns into ‘ba’) and ten ten change it to a ‘p’ sound (‘ha’ to ‘pa’). Maybe I’m just an idiot (I probably am), but I keep mixing them up. ARGH.

And then we have katakana. Look here (I’m sorry if Japanese script doesn’t work on your computer). ソ　シ　ツ　ン　Look at them. How the hell are you supposed to tell them apart. (so, shi, tsu, n).

And while we’re on the topic of katakana (which is used for foreign words), the Japanese are very good at butchering English words until they’re something completely different. In my textbook, one ‘English’ phrase was Clean Up Japan Day. It was: クイーンウップジャパンデイ(i can’t get that ‘i’ to be small, dammit). That says: kuriin uppu jyapan dei. Can’t you just say it in Japanese? Leave my poor language alone, dammit.

It’s not all bad. Orange juice is orenji jyuusu, news is nyuusu etc. But it’s still really, really confusing.

–

I have one word I wish to complain about: あたたかい (atatakai). Warm. Simple word, right? Was warm. あたたかかった (atatakakatta). Try saying that. Go on. It wasn’t warm. あたたかくなかった　(atatakakunakatta). That’s not as bad, but still…

And then there’s the three different verb groups and their rules. The ‘can’ form, and the different particles. Particles in general (they link words to one another, creating sentences. けんじくんのじてんしゃ　(kenji kun no jitensha) Kenji-kun’s bike. the ‘no’ make’s it possessive, which makes it Kenji’s. Here’s a more complicated one for you けんじくんはじてんしゃでまちに行きました。(i think that’s right… kenji kun wa jitensha de machi ni ikimashita). The particles are bold. That should be (Japanese is confusing) ‘Kenji-kun went to town by bike.’ The ‘wa’…just has to be there. It links Kenji and his bike. The ‘de’ links the bike and the town, indicating the bike as how he got to the town (again, I think so) and ‘ni’ goes with any verb that indicated that the subject is going somewhere. JAPANESE MAKES NO SENSE. NEITHER DOES ENGLISH, ACTUALLY. (oh, and just so you know, that ‘wa’ is actually a ‘ha’. confused us all in year 7.)

So yeah. Kanji is just hard to write (and remember) and katakana is quite confusing. Oh, and trying to say large numbers. That’s fun. Lots of fun. (that was sarcasm, in case you didn’t pick it up).

–

All that said, Japanese is a lot of fun and I recommend that you try it, even you pronounce everything wrong (desu is pronounced ‘dess’, ikimasu is pronounced ‘ikimass’, ‘r’ sounds are actually this annoying  sound that is somewhere between a ‘r’ and a ‘l’. Ugh. I hate trying to say words with ‘r’ sounds). It’s a really good language to learn. And plus, you get to tell off the twelve-year-olds that misuse “kawaii” Enjoy!

-Keishi

–

*ahem* I am currently re-reading FAKE, for no reason other than I can (and I don’t want to read Earthian unless I have the physical manga). So, yeah. I’m still reading Lolita (which is very well written, and quite intriguing, if not disturbing).

I do read novels. You should all read Chris Wooding’s books. His novels are brilliant. The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray is probably the best book I’ve ever read. So go on. Reeeead iiiit.

-Keishi

This was in the list of stuff people have searched to get to my useless blog. Why would anyone want to know this? D: Furry yaoi fangirls, maybe?

Yeah, my blog’s useless, isn’t it? Then why don’t you try blogging something useful?

Well, maaaaybe I could try doing another Loveless review? Oh God. Please, no. Well, fine then. What should I blog, oh great one? You do realise I’m you, right? Just shut up and tell me. How about novels? Everyone loves novels. This is Keishi’s Manga Shelf, smart guy. Then do manga reviews. Yeesh.

Okay! Um… yeah, this post is basically just me talking to myself. Is it? Really? I hadn’t noticed. Sarcasm doesn’t work on the ‘net, toots. <sarcasm>Oh, doesn’t it? Oopsy daisy.</sarcasm> *sigh*

Hey, y’know what I did? I filmed a really good Loveless again? recommendation video, and YouTube wants to take TWO HOURS uploading it

Hehehehehe >(

Not happy, Jan.

YouTube hates me. Or maybe that’s a good thing. Who knows.

–

I’ve started reading Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. Everyone in that novel is messed up. It’s a lot of fun.

Until later, my few readers.

-Keishi

So, you find a nice fic on [site] and you sit down to read it. It’s all dandy until random Japanese words start popping up. You think, “What the hell? I don’t understand a word of this!” so you complain to the author. They respond by saying, “Lol no. i can type in nihongo if i want to. ur just a baka.” and you are forced to smash your head on the nearest wall. Obviously, this only applies to manga/anime/Japanese video game/light novel fics.

Because I am so very bored, I am going to make a list of which Japanese phrases are acceptable in fan-fiction.

1. Honorifics. In most manga/anime, the characters use honorifics like “-chan”, “-san”, “-kun”, “-sama”, “-sensei” etc. It’s often very hard to translate those into English without it sounding incredibly stupid. It’s also hard to capture the different levels of intimacy and politeness that are used in Japanese in English. And if you’re used to Yumi yelling “Sachiko-sama!” every five seconds, it’s sort of hard not to use them.
2. Affectionate terms. Like “Niichan” and “Oneesama”. A lot of yuri manga/anime that is set in all-girls schools use the term “oneesama”. In English, that’d be something like “revered elder sister”. Do we really want to see Nagisa saying, “Revered elder sister Shizuma”? No. “Niichan” would be something like “bro”, so you could translate that one. But, again, if you’re used to seeing characters reffering to each other like that, it’s hard not to use the terms.
3. Hard-to-translate phrases. Like “douzo yoroshiku”, which has no direct translation into English. Though why you would use it, I have no idea. “Itadakimasu” is also a phrase I’ll let slide, but “Thanks for the food” works just as well.
4. Words that make Japanese words plurals. Like “gata”. I was reading Aoi Hana and a group of little girls called a group of older girls “Oneesama-gata” which means that they were adressing more than one oneesama. You can’t say “oneesamas”, because that’s a) making it an English plural and b) Japanese doesn’t work like that.
5. Names. This is obvious, but you don’t have to turn Sakura into Sally. And names can be in the Japnese order. Actually, I prefer that. It’s more authentic.
6. Names of places and things. Ritsuka and his buddies are visiting Aoiyama? Awesome. It can be called Aoiyama. You don’t have to change it to Blue Mountain. That’s a place in Australia. (there may or may not be a place in Japan called Aoiyama. I just made it up). And the Yamayurikai doesn’t have to be changed to “Mountain Lily Council”. I mean it.
7. Other things that seem logical. Common sense. If it seems logical to leave something in Japanese, do it. But inserting “kawaii” into a Harry Potter fic isn’t.

Now for the things that you absolutely can’t do!

1. Anything like this. Allow me to indulge in typing like a weeaboo for a moment… “Senpai!” Takahashi yelled kawaiily as he flung open the classroom room door.
   

“Nani?” Daisuke said, leaving the classroom.

“Anou… I nedd to talk to you desu,” Takahashi said in a small voice. Daisuke smiled.

“Anata wa kawaii desu. ” He pushed Takahashi against the wall.

“Eek! Senpai! Yamate!” Takahashi shrieked.

This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to write ‘romance’. Okay, you see those words that I underlined? Yeah, you can’t use those. English, people, English! It should be… “Senpai!” Takahashi yelled cutely as he flung open the classroom door.

“What?” Daisuke said, leaving the class room.

“Um… I need to talk to you,” Takahashi said in a small voice. Daisuke smiled.

“You’re cute.” He pushed Takahashi agains the wall.

“Eek! Senpai! Stop!” Takahashi shrieked.

See? That’s somewhat better. It’s also a good example of how not to write good yaoi. Please, please refrain from using Japanese needlessly. It makes your shitty fan-fic even shittier.

2. Typing everything everyone says in Japanese. “Aishiteru, baka! Anata wa kawaii!” Apart from that being annoying, there’s a good chance that a lot of your poor readers won’t understand it. “I love you, idiot! You’re cute!” is how it should be. Why you feel the need to type everything in Japanese fails me. “Asagohan ni misoshiro wo tabemasu.” is just as worse. No matter how knowledgeble you are with the language, don’t use it unless あなたは日本語を書きます。

And that’s really all I have to say on the matter. Now go out and write (hopefully) good fan-ficition!

-Keishi

Hetalia is a comedy about WWII (yes, you can make a comedy out of it). Each episode goes for five minutes. Primarily, it’s about Italy’s uselessness in the war. Hence the the name, hetare = useless, italia= Italy. Hetalia= Useless Italy. In the  anime, each country is charcterised as a bishounen, except for Lichtenstein, Hungary and Belgium. They’re girls.

Now, being about WWII, of course you have the Axis and the Allies. The Axis consists of: Germany (duh), Japan and Italy (remember Mussolini?). Germany is blonde, blue-eyed, likes sausages and is obviously in love with Italy. Japan is a black haired, brown-eyed otaku who doesn’t talk much. Italy is an idiot who loves pasta and women. He also has brown hair and eyes.

Germany’s weapon is… I think he uses his fists (I’m trying to remember the episode where they got attacked on that random island). Japan uses a katana and Italy… uses a white flag. (he also gives Germany one. Germany isn’t pleased)

The Allies consist of… (OMG long list *dies*)

America. Is blonde, wears a bomber jacket and glasses. Eats lots of hamburgers and milkshakes. All his plans involve him being the hero. England is his big brother and Canada is his little brother (Canada is also transparent). China is his weapon (I quote, “China, I choose you!”)

England. Blonde. Has funny eyebrows. Really hates America. Has imaginary friends. Is the big brother of America and Canada. I also think he’s Australia’s dad. France wants to marry him.

France. Is blonde and blue-eyed. Hits on everyone. Is terrified of South Italy (Italy’s big brother). Tries to marry England (he also drags England off somewhere in that episode. I wonder what happened after that…)

China. Loves food. Has black hair in a ponytail. Loves pandas. Tries to be everyone’s big brother (he fails at this). He fights with a wok (no, seriously).

Russia. Seems nice at first, but is secretly plotting to kill everyone (this may or may not be true). Has grey hair. Is evil.

And now for everyone else…

Prussia is just scary.

Austria plays the piano in the middle of the ocean.

South Italy likes tomatoes.

Sealand is frickin’ adorable.

Switzerland is Lichtenstein’s big brother.

Lichtenstein wants to be like Switzerland-niichan.

Everyone forgets/can’t see Canada. I even had to edit this because I forgot to put him in this list.

…

And that’s all you’ll get character-wise (this is a wonderful waste of time).

Now for some actual reviewing. The plot is random at the best of times. I’m still trying to figure out what the Axis are doing on that island. But it never ceases to be funny. (except for the closet cleaning episodes. they was just depressing.)

Most of the episodes revolve around Italy and Germany. Italy never fails to annoy the hell out of Germany. And Germany does his best to stop Italy from screwing everything up. But Germany is still in love with Italy (even my friend who doesn’t like yaoi noticed that).

Hetalia is a really weird anime, but it’s adorable (there’s this little segment called ‘Chibitalia’ which is just so goddamn cute). The characters are memorable and you actually do learn a lot of historical facts in it. And each episode is only five minutes long, so why not watch it?

-Keishi

PS: You can only find it on the internet. There’s also a manga.

I need something to blog about.

-Keishi